I love eating and I think I know it all, so you would think that I would happily recommend restaurants to all and sundry. Not so.
I have a serious case of restaurant performance anxiety. Recommending a restaurant makes me feel like I'm standing naked with only my favourite children to protect me - but what if they don't? What if the restaurant is so spectacularly awful (and hell, it is Perth so that is hardly a mean feat) that you think I have awful taste too?
I recently was forced to recommend a restaurant to my cousin and his new wife. This was particularly fraught with danger because she asked me to suggest a good Indonesian restaurant - and she is from Java. (From, as in arrived in Perth 3 weeks ago). Luckily, the recommendation produced under duress (Sweet Java in Grosvenor Street Mt Lawley, in case you are wondering - and if you start going there and I can't get a table I will be very cross) came good. But I can't handle the stress.
On that basis, I'm going to offer up some non-recommendations. These Perth restaurants are so consistently rubbish in my view that I feel secure enough to say it aloud.
- Sicilian Subiaco
- The Olive Tree
- The Jolly Frog (this one might be scandalous)
- Almost anything claiming to be Mexican
- I can't believe I forgot it earlier - Pines Grand (that isn't) Buffet and Carvery
If you disagree, tell me so.
Edit: Thanks to the feedback of the good people of Perth, decent Mexican can be had at The Flying Taco and That Little Mexican Place, both located in Perth's very own little Mexico. You can also have a good time at Panchos in Vic Park or Zapata's in Freo with the addition of a cocktail or forty.
The Good Bad and the Ugly is best forgotten, and the Shed is the perfect example for why most eatingwa restaurant reviewers should not have access to a computer.
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