I have serious restaurant performance anxiety

August 1st, 2008 · 12 Comments

I love eating and I think I know it all, so you would think that I would happily recommend restaurants to all and sundry. Not so.

I have a serious case of restaurant performance anxiety. Recommending a restaurant makes me feel like I’m standing naked with only my favourite children to protect me - but what if they don’t? What if the restaurant is so spectacularly awful (and hell, it is Perth so that is hardly a mean feat) that you think I have awful taste too?

I recently was forced to recommend a restaurant to my cousin and his new wife. This was particularly fraught with danger because she asked me to suggest a good Indonesian restaurant - and she is from Java. (From, as in arrived in Perth 3 weeks ago). Luckily, the recommendation produced under duress (Sweet Java in Grosvenor Street Mt Lawley, in case you are wondering - and if you start going there and I can’t get a table I will be very cross) came good. But I can’t handle the stress.

On that basis, I’m going to offer up some non-recommendations. These Perth restaurants are so consistently rubbish in my view that I feel secure enough to say it aloud.

Sienas
Sicilian Subiaco
The Olive Tree
The Jolly Frog (this one might be scandalous)
Almost anything claiming to be Mexican
I can’t believe I forgot it earlier - Pines Grand (that isn’t) Buffet and Carvery

If you disagree, tell me so.

Edit: Thanks to the feedback of the good people of Perth, decent Mexican can be had at The Flying Taco and That Little Mexican Place, both located in Perth’s very own little Mexico. You can also have a good time at Panchos in Vic Park or Zapata’s in Freo with the addition of a cocktail or forty.

The Good Bad and the Ugly is best forgotten, and the Shed is the perfect example for why most eatingwa restaurant reviewers should not have access to a computer.

Tags: Eating

12 responses so far ↓

1 Kim // Aug 2, 2008 at 8:13 am

I agree with your choices 100%! Mind you ‘The Good The Bad and The Ugly’ does have a place in my heart - if only I could remember why!!!!!
2 Matt // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:27 am

Not everything that claims to be Mexican is bad… though my only stand outs are “That Little Mexican Place” and “The Flying Taco”… both located in what I am now dubbing Little Mexico (North Perth).

I would however like to add
- The Witches Cauldron
- Any place serving Vittoria coffee
- Anywhere with photos on the menu that isn’t Asian.
3 beeton // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:32 am

You’re right Matt, both That Little Mexican Place and the Flying Taco are notable exceptions to the crap Mexican rule (and both are within walking distance of my house - bonus).

Additions duly noted!
4 beeton // Aug 4, 2008 at 11:39 am

Oh Kim I think the Good The Bad and Ugly needs to remain in the forgotten recesses of the brain.. I’m having flashbacks to cheap jugs and ruined shoes.
5 Matt // Aug 4, 2008 at 3:03 pm

Incidentally the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly was also where the Shed is now… 4 stars all round
6 JSL@Palate // Aug 4, 2008 at 8:13 pm

I’m coming out and confessing I’m rather partial to Pancho’s in Vic Park. Just for the lemon margharitas, you understand.

100% behind you on Witches’ Cauldron, Matt. I never got why that place was so popular.
7 beeton // Aug 6, 2008 at 12:07 am

I’ll allow that exception, JSL, on the basis that I have not been there but a look at your blog suggests you know what you are doing!

Matt: The Shed is quite obviously carrying on a fine tradition. 4 stars indeed.
8 Happy birthday to me - recommend a restaurant | Beyond Beeton : Household management for the modern age // Aug 12, 2008 at 11:28 am

[...] So please let me have your recommendations. Thanks in advance. For your reference here is a post detailing some Perth restaurants I don’t like. [...]
9 stephanie // Aug 14, 2008 at 9:41 am

Further in support of restaurants claiming to be Mexican, I was quite taken by Zapata’s in Freo, which has the added delight of cheap cocktails on Tuesdays.
10 beeton // Aug 14, 2008 at 10:11 am

Thanks Stephanie, I have added Zapata’s to the exception list.

The photo of you on your blog looks remarkably familiar, so while I work out why, I’m just going to stare lovingly at the rendangfor a while.

This is my blog and I’ll be weird if I want to.
11 Angie // Aug 17, 2008 at 5:05 pm

During my student days (a few years back), I actually for some odd reason started writing on a Word document about which places I thought were “Good, Bad, and the Ugly”. Funnily enough, some of those places on the ugly list have closed down, and the places on the bad list are still bad!

* Totally agree with Sienas - cheap and nasty. * Sicilian was… ok I guess, but it took like an hour for food to come out.
* I actually used to work at the Olive Tree Garden Restaurant as my first job. It was….. let’s just say it was interesting :p
* Pines… I’d rather stick with my buffet at the Hyatt (although I haven’t been there since they started the renovations at Cafe at the Hyatt…)
12 Tenina // Oct 26, 2008 at 2:23 pm

This is hilarious…and SO true, sadly I have eaten at everyone of your hit list…how hard should it be to find good food???